When the proving voice falls quiet, we can see whether we’re optimising for recognition or for impact that truly matters.
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I’m struggling to find the words today, and I’ve been asking myself this question: “What’s the point?”
When I sit to write my blog each week, I want my words to carry resonance and value. I want people to reflect and see their own journey through reading about mine. I want people to know they’re not alone, that it’s ok not to have everything figured out. I want them to know that the mess, the uncertainty, the not knowing what the point is — it’s all part of this journey we call life.
I’ve been wrestling with the words for this morning’s blog for nearly an hour, and just before I fell into the all-too-familiar “I’m rubbish” narrative, I stopped and realised what was happening.
I’d just heard my inner proving voice.
The one that wants to say something profound, to move people powerfully with my words. The one that wants to be recognised for being of value to others.
This is the voice that wants me to give up if it’s not perfect. It’s the voice that frequently says, “Don’t bother, you’ll never be good at this.” It’s the voice that says, “It’s too late, you may as well stop trying.”
That voice inside me is the one that wants to consistently prove her value, her credibility, to show that she’s significant in some way. I understand those needs; it’s likely you recognise them too.
But what I’ve come to see is that this voice stops me from sharing what’s undeniably true.
It’s the voice that stops me sharing the messy middle, the losses, the things that make me less significant or desirable to others. Because in my truest expression of myself, I’m not marketing myself, I’m not selling anything, I’m simply sharing what it means to be human.
On the surface, not much has happened this week, but underneath, so much is shifting.
Just over a year ago, I went all in with embodying my Human Design. Up until then, I was just understanding it with my mind, not living it. Since embodying the insights from my own HD blueprint, it’s radically transformed how I show up in my life and, correspondingly, the results I’m getting.
Over a year on, I can now see how powerfully life comes towards me when I live in alignment with my design.
Even with my writing, I’ve noticed the difference. When I try to force a topic because I think I “should,” the words rarely flow. But when I wait until something feels alive for me, the words come easily, and the message resonates more deeply with others.
I’ve lived this last year differently to any other. I’ve been slowly unravelling the deep conditioning we all take on from outside and allowing myself to go inwards to find what needed to reveal itself from within.
As a result, I’ve experienced many deaths of my ego this year, and after each one, a truer expression of me has been revealed.
The biggest shift I’m making is showing up for the work I feel called to do, even if no one sees it, hears it, or pays me for it.
I’m choosing to show up for myself. Not because someone else is holding me accountable but because if I don’t, I’d be choosing a lesser version of myself.
With the chaos of the world around us, it’s easy to be distracted by the noise. But the truth often whispers to us, and it needs us to be still enough to hear the whispers.
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How comfortable are you being still?
That’s the question I’ve been asking myself this week. The answer is “not very,” but I’m learning it’s exactly what’s needed if I want clarity.
If I want to see my true reflection in the water, I can’t keep swishing it around with my hands.
Stillness gives us the opportunity to reflect, to get honest with ourselves, and to really understand whether we’re becoming the person we came here to be or just spinning our wheels.
I got notification yesterday that my application wasn’t successful in being selected for the TEDx on the Sunshine Coast. While I was initially disappointed, when I allowed myself to be still, I realised there was a part of me that was relieved.
Deep down, I think I knew that, for me at this time, it was a distraction. There is a significant amount of time and work involved in bringing a TEDx talk to life, and when I got honest with myself about whether it was worth the investment of time and energy right now, the confronting truth I faced was that it wasn’t.
The part of me still trying to prove my value was disappointed. The external recognition and credibility would have supported the future NYT Best Selling Author I want to become. But in the stillness, I recognised I’d be optimising for looking good, not writing a book so good it positively impacts its readers.
And that’s the work I’m committed to: showing up for what I’m called to, long before anyone else sees it.
That’s the question we all face, isn’t it? Who are we optimising to become?
Are we optimising for recognition or for impact that matters, even when it goes unseen?
Keep going and keep growing.
Love Glin x
P.S. Three things I'm grateful for this week:
1. Settling on my investment property
This is the second property I’ve bought in the last two years, my primary home and now this investment property, and it’s humbling to be able to do so while being self-employed. When you have a salaried role, banks buy into the illusion of security that comes from working for someone else. It’s a much harder path to get finance when you run your own business, which makes me even more grateful this went through.
2. My trip to Adelaide
This week I was with a wonderful team in Adelaide, training them in developing their negotiation intelligence. They brought so much energy and commitment to learning. When one shared a personal situation with a colleague, I was reminded again how much work there is to do in corporates where the system allows people to be kept on because they “get results” even while they harm others along the way. I’m so grateful I no longer work in environments that compromise my wellbeing.
3. Qantas getting my luggage back to me
When I landed home, my luggage didn’t land with me! While frustrating at the time, I’m grateful it happened on the way back, not when I had client delivery. Thankfully, Qantas had my luggage delivered to my home the next morning.
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